Real (Wo)men of Genius

Real Women of Genius

UA presents Real Women of Genius. (Real Women of Genius)

Today we salute you, Dr. Southern Academic Champion Chef. (Dr. Southern Academic Champion Chef)

We all knew Southern women could cook; but we didn’t know Southern women could cook and be healthy about it too. You proved us wrong. (gotta be nutritious)

While other chefs are cooking with artificial flavor and way too much sugar, you say, “I’m much healthier than that.” (Paula Dean, eat your heart out)

A president with three degrees in food and nutrition, now that’s a recipe for success. (that’s so academic)

When you’re cookin’, the whole school’s mouths are waterin’. (mmm mmm mmm!)

So crack open an ice cold coke, O doctor of the yummy;

Because of you, we know there ought to be a dining hall in the Rose building. (staff and students, chow down)

The University of Alabama Ferguson Center, Tuscaloosa, AL.

-David Rissling

Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Want to Leave UA this Summer

Top ten reasons I don’t want to go home this summer:

#10: The weather is just as stormy here as it is in Maryland, so what does it matter?

#9: Everything is sweeter, nicer, more fun and exciting and better in Tuscaloosa. (ROLL TIDE!!!)

#8: I can listen to whatever music and stations and countdowns I want, even in my living room; and no one can stop me, with none of this Big Time Rush or Sweet Life or any of that stuff on TV that’s not appealing to adults. My 16-year-old sister is as sweet as she can be, but I see way too much of that stuff on TV. I mean let’s face it, gospel and older music rocks! And yes, I love Skynnard too. (ROLL TIDE!)

#7: I can play all the piano/keyboard I want in the music building without people telling me to cut it out when they’re frustrated about something that has nothing to do with me.

#6: I don’t have to listen to people arguing on the bus, the train and everywhere else like in Baltimore.

#5: My parents and my grandmother and my friend Anne from the pool up there are really great cooks, but man, them Southern women; WHOO, can they ever cook! Especially Dr. Bonner, so I heard. J

#4: I love them Southern women anyway, especially the academic and official ones. As they say, it’s always that Southern bell, and I’ve always had a fond appreciation for that.

#3: My church back in Maryland is led by a priest that doesn’t listen to a darn thing his congregation says; he doesn’t give a crap what we think. They’re closing the sanctuary in May to renovate it in a way that no one really likes, but they’re doing it anyway. And they want to do Mass in the fellowship hall during that renovation period. The new church layout will take away the sense of community. Instead of the pews going around so that everyone can see each other and know who’s here, he wants to make it so that the altar is in the front, and that will really be the only thing anyone will be able to see. That’s not a sense of community. It’s good to be able to see what’s going on at the altar, but it’s also good to see the people sitting around you. This church has just gone nowhere but downhill since the day he started, and he’s about to lose at least one member alright. I enjoy worshiping at Canterbury and St. Francis and Circle Of Love Church down here a lot more quite frankly. And the UA family is the best family I could ever ask for.

#2: I’m trying to apply for in-state residency reclassification, which will not only help me, but also my family.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME FOR THIS SUMMER: I want to move to Tuscaloosa when I graduate, so I might as well begin establishing my residency now. And again, if I could stay with Dr. Cramer or Dr. Bonner over the summer, I would most gladly do so.

And there’s your top ten from David Letterman—I mean Rissling-Venit! J

Severe Weather Statement for 4/5/2012

The National Weather Service has issued a severe thunderstorm watch for all of West Alabama, including Tuscaloosa and the University of Alabama until 5 PM. Remember, a severe thunderstorm watch means conditions are favorable for the development of severe weather, including large hail and damaging winds in and close to the watch area. While severe weather may not be immediately imminent, persons should remain alert for rapidly changing weather conditions and listen for later statements and possible warnings. If a severe thunderstorm warning is issued, persons should remain indoors and away from windows until the warning is over. Remember, classes will only be suspended for a tornado warning, NOT a severe thunderstorm warning. If by any chance a tornado warning is issued, immediately move to the lowest level of the nearest building and stay away from windows until you are notified that the warning is over.

 -David Rissling

The Administrative Connections Continue

     So now as of this Monday, I can scratch another person I want to meet off my list. This is because I’ve had the honor and privilege of meeting Dr. Kathleen Cramer finally. In case you didn’t know, Dr. Cramer is the Vice President for Student Affairs. Believe it or not, she happens to be the VIP I unintentionally ran into right after the memorial service for the six students who died in the storms last April; that service was held one Sunday night in early September out by Lake Palmer on the patio at Lakeside Dining. After the service was over, I started asking around to talk to Dr. Witt for a minute, so I could thank him and the University for bringing closure for me and the entire UA family now that we were all back for the year. 

     That’s when I got one of those sweet and warm but official and academic touches on the hand from a very kind woman who said, “I’m sorry, he’s not available at this time.” I stood there kind of embarrassed for the moment, but soon after I found one of my friends in the crowd and we started out towards the Ferg plaza for the food, the first thing I can recall thinking was, “Who in the heck was the academic Southern dear that just did that?” And I just smiled the whole way there. For months afterwards I wondered who that was. I knew it had to be an important person, not just some random stranger in the crowd. But she was as sweet as she could be. Was it a teacher? A dean? One of the President’s assistants? Or was it even a trustee? 

     As last semester went by, I kind of kept it in the back of my mind, but because I was so stressed all the time, I never could solve that mystery. I’d emailed the president once during the fall, but we never were able to meet. Then came this semester, when I wasn’t taking classes that were nearly as stressful and pressured as last semester. It all started when I went to pick up my first paycheck and I got to meet the President. Then things just went uphill from there fast. Later I got to meet 3 VP’s, including Dr. Bonner. I asked her if that was her I saw at the memorial service, and she said it might have been; she was out there. While her voice sounded similar to the one I remember from after the ceremony, I still thought, “maybe it was her, maybe it wasn’t.” 

     Then just last week, things got more interesting. On Tuesday I went to ask the SGA office a question about making signs to support Dr. Bonner’s continuance of office as president now that Dr. Witt is the new Chancellor. While I was there, we started talking about the service and about the honorable opportunities that had come my way. I told the SGA representative the whole story about what happened after the service, and she immediately spoke up and said, “Ah, that actually may have been Dr. Cramer.” I asked her who she was, and she told me. The next day on Wednesday, I went to sing the National Anthem for a softball game that night. Afterwards, a staff member showed me to a seat with a cup holder. She didn’t tell me I was sitting right near anyone important. But then I met this lady and we were talking about the game and stuff, and then I asked who she was, and she said her name was Olivia Portera. My mouth flew open, and I asked if she was related to who I thought she was. (I told her earlier that I was a student). She said, “Yep, Malcolm Portera; I’m his wife.” 

     A few minutes later, there came the man himself, and she introduced me to him. I told him I still wanted to meet members of the Board of Trustees soon. So the three of us watched the rest of the game, and it went on, and on, and on, and on. Went into extra innings. I told them I couldn’t stay for the next game because I had homework to do. Then in the bottom of the twelfth, we’re tied at 6. We’re up to bat, and Chancellor Portera’s yelling, “Come on, girls, get in the game!” Then one of our best hitters comes up, and she drills it to deep right center field, and no one could get it. You know I was on my feet screaming my head off and Miss Olivia grabbed both my hands and started shaking them furiously, and we both were cheering and hugging. Bama won the first game 7-6 on a walk-off home run! Chancellor then led me to the bus stop so I could go home and get work done, but that was quite a night.

     Then the next day, I called the office of Student Affairs and set up a meeting with Dr. Cramer myself. I met her this Monday, and I looked forward to that day all weekend. The office secretary even gave me a free soda when I got in there. When Dr. Cramer came out and introduced herself to me, the voice sounded very familiar. I asked her if I looked familiar to her, like the blind student who was at the memorial service, and she said I did look familiar, but she didn’t think we’d really officially met. I knew right there that that was her I’d run into. She invited me into her office and we talked for a long while. I showed my appreciation for all that this administration does, and she told me I made her day. At the end of it all, she told me I could come by anytime to see her, without setting up an appointment or dressing up in advance, as long as she’s available. That was cool. I’ll have to go by and see her more often now, because she is just such an angel.

     After that, I got to go down and meet Mr. Emergency himself, Shane Dorrill. He’s the guy that operates the PA system. We were talking about how the PA works behind the scenes and about where I was and what I was doing on April 27. It was cool to get to find out lots of interesting stuff from him, and I demonstrated my test message voice-over, and he said, “Man, we should get you recorded on there sometime!” I also gave him my suggestion so that everyone would know what they’ll hear in the event of an emergency. He said that was a wonderful suggestion actually.

     So in closing, I’ve just got to say, I LOVE Dr. Cramer. If I could stay with either her OR Dr. Bonner over the summer I would. I’m not joking. Dr. Cramer, I know you’ll read this, so please know you are an absolute dearheart. I’m the biggest Cramer boy in this university. Folks, this administration does so much for this UA family, and so in your spare time, I invite you to show them some appreciation. And the next time the Board of Trustees are on campus, don’t worry; I’ll have my suit and tie ready.

ROLL TIDE!

-David Rissling

This is Just a Test

                 Next week, the University of Alabama will test UA Alerts and the emergency public address systems on Wednesday between 11:55 AM and 12 noon. The test will coincide with the Tuscaloosa Emergency Management Agency’s test of the outdoor tornado warning sirens, including the campus siren located on top of Gorgas Library. While the test will last about 30 seconds and should not be disruptive, the way they’ve been testing the emergency notification system beginning this year has changed. For all who are first-years at UA, let me explain.

                  When the indoor PA system is tested, you usually hear a chime struck 4 times in succession. This is actually the signal that is generally used to begin an all-clear announcement. The signal is followed by a message from the officials. In this case the message will be, “This is a test of the University Of Alabama emergency notification system. This is only a test.” That message will only be spoken once usually. In an emergency, however, another signal is used. This is the “danger” signal, and it sort of sounds like one that you might hear in an alien movie or in a federal building like the Pentagon or the White House. This alert signal is followed by an important message, which is usually taped. The message is spoken 3 times. In extremely serious emergencies such as a major tornado outbreak like the one that happened last April, the officials may come on live. In this case, you might hear the emergency signal sounded twice with a pause in between before they are on. When the emergency is over, the all-clear will be sounded with the chime and an all-clear announcement spoken 3 times as before.

                  The neat thing is that the system can be activated in one building, a select group of buildings or the entire campus. The outside PA system was just installed throughout various parts of campus after the tornado last April. There is just one tone for everything on that, and it consists of a high tone followed by a lower-pitched tone, then a higher-pitched tone and then the message is read by a person or a computer. The message is usually taped, but they can come on live if necessary. And it’s all managed through the use of one computer in a vault inside the office of University Relations on the first floor of the Rose Administration building. UAPD can also operate the system from the police station in the event of an emergency after hours.

                  I do think the system test should consist of a test message with the bell first to avoid freaking everybody out, followed shortly by another test message using the emergency alert signal. This way everyone knows what they’ll hear in the event of an emergency, because in an emergency, you will most definitely not hear a bell. Just a suggestion. Please stay safe, and remember that next Wednesday at 11:55 AM, it’s only a test. Also, this is a great time to make sure your information is correct on MyBama for UA Alerts. If you don’t get a text message and/or a phone call during the test period between 11:55-12:00, you need to check to make sure your information is correct so you’re alerted in the event of an emergency.

ROLL TIDE!!!

-David Rissling

Support President Bonner

                   Attention, all University of Alabama faculty, staff, administrators, members of the Board of Trustees and all students: Please join me in supporting Dr. Judy L. Bonner being fully accepted as the president of The University of Alabama. As we already begin to approach the close of another academic year, the University is undergoing some major changes to its leadership. Dr. Bonner has already been named as our interim president as Dr. Witt was selected as chancellor of the UA system. Now, I need your help in endorsing and supporting Dr. Bonner fully becoming the leader of this academic institution. As I wrote in my last statement, I was honored and blessed to have the privilege of meeting Dr. Bonner in person. I love that woman; she is an academic angel! The support she has given to me and the rest of the student body has been absolutely tremendous. She has worked to improve the quality of teaching so that learning can improve, and I believe she is just one of the many reasons that the enrollment rate at UA has increased dramatically. Her kindness, her generosity toward us, her love for what she does and her love for the UA family is inspiring to me as a student, and this is exactly what this school needs in a leader. I believe the work she has done as provost and her long history of success in all she has done here at UA and beyond demonstrates that she deserves this position.

Dr. Bonner was promoted to executive vice president and provost in April of 2006, after serving as provost and vice president of Academic Affairs since March of 2003. She holds two degrees from UA—a B.S. in Nutrition and an M.S. in Food and Nutrition—and a Ph.D. in Human Nutrition from Ohio State University. She was named Dean of the College of Human Environmental Studies at UA in 1989, prior to which she served as Special Assistant to the President, Assistant Academic Vice President and Head of the Department of Human Nutrition and Hospitality Management. She has also held faculty positions at UAB and Ohio State. On top of that, she is an active member of civic, scientific and professional organizations and has written a number of articles.

I am an out-of-state student from Maryland and am trying to stay in Alabama long enough to be classified as an in-state student since I plan to settle in Tuscaloosa when I graduate, and personally, IF I COULD stay with her over the summer, I WOULD. That is how much her leadership and dearness to everyone has meant to me. Besides, if she’s got multiple degrees in Food and Nutrition, coupled with the fact that I know from experience that Southern women can cook as it is, I don’t know about any of y’all, but I’d think staying with a woman of those letters would mean one summer of darn good eatin’! If any members of the Board of Trustees are reading this, I’d like to meet some of you one day to thank you also for what you do. But in the meantime, please know that Dr. Bonner has my support in her role as president of UA. This is why I’m asking all students, faculty and staff to join me in asking the Board to keep Bonner in as president of The University of Alabama. ROLL TIDE!!! 

--David Rissling

Changes on Campus: New Interim President of UA

          Just today, the Board of Trustees of the University of Alabama announced that UA President Dr. Robert E. Witt was chosen to replace retiring Chancellor Malcolm Portera, effective immediately. The Board also announced today that one of my most favorite administrators, Provost Dr. Judy L. Bonner will now serve as interim President of UA. This is exciting news for the entire UA family. Folks, being Chancellor is a HUGE deal. When you’re chancellor, that means you’re in charge of the entire UA system—that’s UA Tuscaloosa, UAB, UAH and the UA health system. This is the highest position that one can hold in the University system, so as you can imagine, this is quite an honor for Dr. Witt. Dr. Witt has served as UA President for the past 9 years. Over the years, Dr. Witt has worked successfully in increasing the enrollment at UA and has worked to create a higher academic standard here at UA, along with the rest of our administration. Words cannot even begin to express what this means to me as a student; this is excellent news for the UA family. I was also thrilled to hear that one of my most favorite administrators, Provost Dr. Bonner, is now the interim President. I hope she is accepted as President altogether as next year begins. I know she will do just as good and even better.

          Believe it or not, I’ve gotten to meet Dr. Witt 3 times now, all in one semester too. I first met him at the President’s Office as I went into Rose Administration to collect my first paycheck on the ground floor. There I met Janice Palmer, a Human Resources staff member who had seen me before at the Ferg inside Fresh Foods. I told her that I wanted to meet Dr. Witt personally one day, and once the process of collecting my paycheck was complete on the ground floor, you can guess what happened next. Next thing I knew, I found myself in an elevator with Ms. Palmer on my way to the second floor where the President’s office is. We waited for a little while for him to return to the office, but he did; and that was the first time we met. We then met again just before the wheelchair basketball game the Friday night before this past week just before I sang the National Anthem before the game. He would present the girls’ team with their National Championship rings from last season after the girls’ game. . I informed him of my desire to meet the rest of the high administration and even some of the trustees, and he said he would try to arrange that. Then just this past Friday morning, he arranged for me to come into his office and meet three of the vice presidents. I got to meet and talk briefly with Dr. Joe Benson, vice president in charge of research and development, Vice President Dr. Linda Gilbert and Provost Dr. Judy Bonner. I gave Dr. Bonner a big handshake and hug and thanked her and the entire administration for all they do to make this University what it is today. Dr. Bonner is an absolute angel; I must say I LOVE THAT WOMAN! I can truly tell you I’m a huge Bonner boy. (ROLL TIDE!) She has done a great deal to make sure each and every faculty and staff member at UA is committed to us and our success, and for that I’m forever indebted. I still hope to meet the trustees sometime soon.

          Anyway, in all seriousness, Dr. Bonner, congratulations to you on becoming our interim president, and I hope you’ll be fully accepted as our next president soon. You truly are the best. Your academic and general support means so much to the UA family, and we’re grateful to have you as our leader. May God bless all you do, and may God continue to bless the University of Alabama. ROLL TIDE!!! 

-David Rissling